Toilet
by CopraMeow
Summary: Those lonesome moments on your toilet are really something? How about we look what our favourite characters do? Crack, pure crack - wouldn't advise if you can't handle toilet humor, nothing explicit R


**Toilet**

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**A/N: Apparently I'm only good for writing crack these days *sighs at the pile of open stories on FF* **

**I had a weird idea and drew it with out beloved characters :D *link to DA on my profile* thus I had to write it :D**

**Don't own One Piece just a weird imagination.**

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**Toilet 1. **

It was one of those days, you'd sleep so nice after drinking yourself silly and then a crew member had to drag your sorry ass to bed. Ace grinned in his sleep and shifted. His left foot dangled of the bed and he yawned loudly.

He wanted to sleep so bad but his body had other ideas, bowel emptied and a noisy bladder. It kept bugging him since he fell asleep. Peeing was a pain in the ass after drinking so much beer.

With a hand in his hair and another on his belly Ace made his way to the nearest toilet. As one of the commanders in Pop's fleet, as he liked to call it, he used the south wing and shared a spacious bathroom and a nice toilet.

He could already feel that special feeling of lightness after using it. Dashing to the blue door he almost jumped on th white porcelain throne and slipped his boxers off.

A small sigh escaped his lips as he shut his eyes in enjoyment and dozed off.

Marco was usually one of the first ones awake on the ship but booze had it's ways to fuck things up, and here he was enjoying a nice cup of black coffee when his stomach churned.

Black coffee in the morning.

Yap, Marco needed a toilet. Soon.

Good thing that the commander toilet was so near. He walked calmly to it and tugged on the doorknob. It was locked from the inside which meant someone was using it. The others were up so..Ace.

Marco cursed every saint he knew and took a deep breath.

˝YOU STINKING ASSHOLE GET OUT! I need to use the toilet˝- Marco yelled at the blue door. Nothing. Complete silence, but then he heard something. A soft sound, like someone snoring.

That idiot was asleep on the toilet.

Cursing his luck Marco dashed to the nearest toilet.

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**Toilet. 2**

The waves were calm that night, you couldn't even feel a breeze and the night shift was glad for it. The Kidd pirates had a busy day, impaling some villagers and burning half of the island before they saw a cave, covered in rubins.

Or course the red headed Captain commented how he was the only fit to have them, according to the hair color theory but it was discovered that the rubins were actually fruits. Laughing the captain took the „rubin" and bit into it savouring the sweet taste.

˝Tastes like strawberries and pineapple, actually not bad˝- Eustass Kidd announced and took another before he walked back on the ship.

The others followed suit and ate while packing crates with the new discovered fruit, pirates they called it. Red pirate fruit. Jokes and shenanigans ensued.

And there he was, the red headed captain, sitting on his private toilet in his room, clutching the news paper and holding his stomach.

Those fucking „rubins" gave him and the rest of the crew diarrhoea.

Fucking great.

He heard the clock in his room chime midnight and sighed as another avalanche in came.

This will be a long night...

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**Toilet. 3**

Things were crazy on their ship and he admitted that, surely with Luffy as your Captain there's bound to be crazy stuff happening. Sanji laughed to himself as he poured some coffee in his marimo mug. The mug was worn out but the green paint wouldn't budge, as the stupidity from a certain swordsman as he loved to say.

It was unhygienic, he admitted that aswell but shurged it off.

Sanji loved drinking his coffee and having a cigarette while sitting on his throne. Yap, the white one, the toilet. Funny enough it had a nice view from the two round shaped windows. Franky thought of everything it seems.

Doing his business Sanji thanked the gods that Luffy wasn't awake yet and screaming breakfast at the top of his lungs. He still had a few moments of silence for himself.

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**Toilet 4**.

There weren't Marine ships around nor other pirates ships. The sea was smooth and there wasn't anything wrong on the sub, yet Law wondered if this was the calm before a storm.

He frowned and walked around checking his crew and the submarine but found nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe he was just paranoid? They did deserve a break every now and then.

He could take some good red wine and read those books he bought ages ago. A few herb encyclopedias and a few about the human digestion. Diseases were common on pirate ships, mostly fevers and stomache aches and he wanted to prevent them from disabling his crew in crucial times.

Irony was a bitch ,wasn't she?

There he was reading about the colon when nature called.

Now you could see a rare sight, the Surgeon of death smiling while sitting on his white throne

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**The end...or is it?**


End file.
